It has been a few days since I last blogged. Not much to report on the life front, plodding along and keeping out of mischief as best as I can. I had my first Covid-19 vaccine - no dramas. I had a sore arm for a few days but it didn't make me feel ill which I was grateful for.
I wanted to write this quick blog because if you don’t have IBD, it can be difficult to understand what it’s like or know what to say/ask people who do suffer with it. It is also difficult for those affected to try to explain as it is a bit off a taboo subject to talk about bowel problems. That's why I am making it my mission to talk sh*t! Seriously, I talk about it to anyone who will listen - my family and friends are probably sick of me moaning about the current state of my bowel movements. But if we don't talk about it, we can't raise awareness and that is what we need to do!
I am quite open and honest about my condition - now - but at first I found the wealth of information overwhelming and really difficult to deal with. I am so lucky I have a family who understood this and took a step back to let me deal with things in my own time and at my own pace. This is one of the biggest things I would say to anyone who has a family member struggling, support them but don't overwhelm them.
So what tips can I give to people who want to talk sh*t but aren't sure how to go about it?
Just be a good listener. Some days we feel like we just want to vent about how we are feeling and what is going on with our symptoms. You may sit there thinking ''too much information'' but honestly you are helping an immeasurable amount by just sitting there taking it all in.
However, don't push. Sometimes we would prefer to just carry on as normal and not talk about our illness, and simply be us rather than 'us with Crohns'. Ask how we are but if you can sense we don't want to talk about it at that moment please don't push us.
Please don't dismiss our illness. I have been so lucky that none of my friends or family have done so but I have come across comments comparing it to IBS and suggesting it can be cured by diet. IBS is awful it really is but they are not the same illness and everyone is different, one person may be able to eat fruit and veg but another (like me) can't.
Make us laugh about it. Honestly we love people who can turn our illness into a comedy sketch. It prevents us feeling embarrassed about it. My running joke with a friend is when asked how I am I will respond ''ahh well you know, same sh*t different day''.
Be understanding if we cancel plans at the last minute. I haven't had chance to do this yet due to the pandemic but sometimes we are feeling fine and then 10 minutes before we are due to go somewhere our stomach becomes Beth Tweddle and it is impossible for us to leave the house. Please try to be understanding, we want to be with you we really do!
Just ask. If you are curious about something, want to know anything about the illness or are just not sure then please just pipe up. We really don't mind.
I hope that gives a bit of help to those who may not be sure how to act around someone they know with IBD. Just remember they are still your mum, auntie, sister, brother, dad, uncle, nephew, niece, friend etc and they simply need to know you are there to love and support them. And also remember that if you are struggling to deal with coming to terms with a loved ones illness, whether that be IBD or anything else, look after yourself too. Take a break, have a bath, call a friend or just have 10 minutes with a cup of tea. You can't pour from an empty cup - don't feel guilty for taking time for you.
Until next time...L xx
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