HIYA!! Wow, it's been a minute and then some since I last blogged.
It has been a crazy few months for me, I am not sure where 2021 went if I am honest. Life has a funny habit of getting away from you but wow do I appreciate every moment now. Just look at what a difference 2 years can make....quite a few kgs heavier but feeling so good for it!! Remember it isn't always about the number on the scale.
So you will all know from my last little vlog update that I had pre-planned surgery on 14 December as I had been experiencing some pain and discomfort. Essentially, my surgeon needed to take a look whilst I was under General Anaesthetic as to what was going on and whether there was anything he could do to help.
The good news is that when my surgeon performed a Colonoscopy whilst I was under he did not find any active Crohn's and was therefore able to take a better look as to what was happening to cause me pain. Turns out there was still a pocket left over from the abscess that was removed in November 2019 and in order to help relieve the pain he drained it but also had to put another seton in *sobs quietly* as my last one had fallen out. I have to say I was quite emotional about this and had a few moments where I just cried. But...since my surgery I honestly feel a million times better.
After a long journey to acceptance and becoming comfortable discussing my health with family and friends, I finally feel like I am just 'Lucy' again. A more confident version at that, not just in making decisions about putting myself first for health reasons, but more confident in who I am and what matters in my life.
When I first got diagnosed one of my main worries, and likely that of my family, was that I would become defined by the disease. Thinking things like 'I don't know if I am going to be able to do that because I have Crohns'' or avoiding going out in case of a flare up etc. Truth is, that isn't a healthy way to approach it or deal with having Crohns although it does make you think twice about saying 'yes' to certain things that you don't quite wish to go to. Once I got my head around that fact, living with it has become (mostly) easy. I live as if I don't have it at all (save for the ridiculous dietary requirement I now have).
For now, I am finding a healthy balance of acknowledging my disease, letting it be part of my life but not letting it control me. I will continue to share my story for those that want to read about it and learn about it, and I hope it helps in some way whether that is by educating or comforting those who perhaps are feeling like their disease is defeating them.
It will get better, you have to take each day at a time and put yourself first. Don't feel selfish saying no, but don't let that become your default answer. Don't focus on what is going wrong but what is going right, even if that is simply that you managed to shower today. There is so much more to life. Now I need to focus on setting myself another challenge...a skydive maybe? a bungee jump? another marathon? (kidding....maybe just half). Give me your suggestions.
Until next time...L xx